HOW TO STAY TRUE TO YOUR VALUES? - Welcome to Lumenar's blog

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Tuesday, 25 August 2020

HOW TO STAY TRUE TO YOUR VALUES?

"It is difficult. You will be tempted but if you stay true, you will win"

Lumenar Blog Team

-image by SavvyMom

" As an undergraduate, you are gullible and emotionally fragile. You engage in all sorts of mundane things like prostitution, sorting, cultism, bullying etc.,  either to feel among, satisfy your peers or to make quick money"

Every individual has personal value(s) they hold dear. Our parents, teachers and the society have taught us the basic principles of life; honesty, dedication, integrity, character, purity, obiedience amongst many others. As we grow up into toddlers, teenagers and young adults, we begin to question some of these values and we make choices that shape our personalities.

Indeed no one can feign ignorance because each individual knows what is good and what is evil.  Most times, we try our possible best to keep to those values.  However, some circumstances like poverty, chronic illness, ambition, "wannabe" force some persons to fall and act in defiance of their moral principles and value. WHY? 

Honestly, it is not easy. Life happens and often times, we trade our value system for immediate benefits. However, we can begin anew to stay true to our moral values.

So how do we stay true to our values?

1. Watch your company
Evil company corrupts good character. Peer pressure  is a very strong influence such that you find yourself doing stuffs you wouldn't ordinarily have done. This is because you either have to beat or join them. More often than not, we join them to feel good and safe. Thus, to stay true to your values; watch your friends and the company you keep.

2. Forgive yourself
You need to forgive yourself first for deviating. Quit blaming yourself, accept the mistake and take responsibility for it. When you do this you are on the path to true healing.

3. Reflect on the past
Where did it all begin? What went wrong? What could I have done instead? 
Remember, if the man you are becoming isn't proud of the boy you were and likewise, if the woman you are growing into isn't proud of the girl you were, there is always an opportunity to change the story. Reflect deeply and point out the loopholes.

4. Rectify your actions
Some actions can be corrected; some cannot. Find out the ones that can be corrected, correct them and move on. For instance, if you fell pregnant as a teenager or a young adult. It might be a shameful experience in the begginning but please don't wallow in self - pity. Pick yourself up and make efforts to grow up. Who says that you can't break records as a single mother? Who says that you can't have a sweet marriage subsequently?
If you have stolen from another, try to make restitutions especially if you want to make progress

For those actions that cannot be corrected, let it go. For instance, if as a cultist you committed murder, you can't bring back the life you have taken, nevertheless, you can ask God for pardon, you can ask the family of the deceased for forgiveness, you can help to prevent the death of others by speaking out against cultism, share your experiences and encouraging the youths around you to be responsible young adults.

5. Live out your values
If you value purity; live it out. If you value transparency; let people recognize you as a transparent person. Your actions speak louder than your words. Please don't make the mistake of preaching A and doing B, otherwise you would be  referred to as an hypocrite. 

6. Avoid the triggers
Sometimes, you have no intention of doing something, however, something pushes you to do so. What is that thing? Try your possible best to avoid it. If your friends are your triggers, cut them off. If nudity and pornography is your trigger, cut it off. If social media is your factor, control it. Avoid the things and people that make you drop your value system.

6. Say NO to extremism
Staying true to your values gives you no right to condemn and judge others. It gives you no excuse to be insensitive and mean. Rather, you should try to be understanding and empathetic. Who knows you might be the balm that another individual needs to heal.

Keywords: values, value system, personality, extremism

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