Friday, 10 July 2020


Lumenar Blog Team

"The true test of love is not in the romantic dates,  messages and dinner but in the way and manner your partner treats you when you are wrong"

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This is very important! Most times we allow ourselves to be blinded by emotions and fear. In extreme cases,  we make and give excuses on their behalf. The way and manner your partner treats you when you are wrong goes a long way in reminding you that he or she values and respect you or opening your eyes to the fact that, your partner is not into you at all in the first place, he or she might just be there for the benefits.

So how does your partner treat you?

1. He/She walks away: Depending on the gravity of the wrong, some people walk away at first to calm down and also calm their nerves. They walk away to think through the whole episode and decide on their next cause of action. They may or may not raise the issue depending on their mood. You must however note that they are taking records. If they decide to talk about the issue, well and good. If not, they wait till the tension is still, sweep the wrong under the carpet and then they return as if nothing ever happened.

2. He/She fuels the wrong: We know you acted wrongly, you know that you acted wrongly and your partner knows this. Instead of trying to correct the wrong act, some partner's add pepper and salt to you injury especially when you feel guilty already. They remind you of your past wrongs. They begin to interpret your earlier actions to suit their accusations even when you had no such thing in mind. Some refuse to hear you out but go ahead to rant. The end result is that you feel worse than before, you are extremely angry as opposed to being sorry and you might burst out too at the top of your voice to remind your partner that he/she is not a saint and behold....real trouble begins.

3. He/She reports you to people you are accountable to: Every tiny and big wrong you commit, your partner reports you to his/her parents, your siblings, pastor, friends etc. Your partner exposes your dirty linen outside because you have committed a wrong. The end result is that you become very embarrassed  and if you planned to make things right personally, the embarrassment might stall such process.

4. He/She goes silent: The person just ignores and despises you. The person you professed love to becomes the coldest person you have ever met. In extreme cases, your partner keeps malice with you. The end result is that, you find it difficult to rectify the wrong and you begin to grow apart from your partner.

5. He/She goes violent:  The next thing you hear is loud bang, a heavy slap and your phone smashed. Your things scattered all over. He/she calls you dreadful names  and naturally, you feel very terrible. Violence has never been a solution to any issue. Usually, it is most effective that you walk away from such partner because your life is at risk! 

6. He/She makes effort to listen to your story: Some just take out time to hear you out because they believe that something must have triggered your actions. They address the wrong action without condemning you. They tell you the bitter truth in a civil manner. They correct you calmly and talk about the issues as well as make resolutions on how to prevent a re-occurrence. The end result is that the  atmosphere is healthy and obviously you will be forced to make things right. You grow closer to your partner and you become confident that come what may, your partner will stand by you at your side.

Some people's reaction to a partner's wrong might be a combination of one or two stated above.  Nevertheless, one thing is clear, the way and manner in which your partner treats you when you are wrong is the true test of love and not the romantic gifts, dates and words.

  Let Love Lead.

Keywords: Communication, violence, romance, relationship, partner, wrong